Pain and Loathing in Pasadena

It was July 2008, I had been living in rented rooms for 3 months now, and deciding if I shoud take the next flight home. I received email from my attorney at the time, and was told some form of  concession was possible, in a payout time table. I was literally one foot away from completely never seeing my family again, never to have ever had chance to see all my friends again at least once more before I go (all of this, as the reader will find later, part of a manipulation started early on).

By this time, I knew when I got on that plane, I'm not going to be able to come back to Thailand as often as I wanted. By this time our apartment was more than just our own domicile while the contracts were being negotiated, but 3 months of living daily with a local girl who worked at the mall across the street. Our relationship started before we met each other in person online, and continued after I was back living in my parents' house, now that I was dead broke and had no income and had an enormous financial and legal weight on my shoulders.

But I bought the ticket. I decided, whatever fate, remained at home, that American Justice would come through on me, and that in the end, the guys who scammed me, the guys who took all our family and friends money, are the ones to blame and that money would come back. How naive a feeble human I am, I'll soon realize over a decade later when self realization slowly sets in permanently. (Back to today)...Only...I had no financial fall back of any kind to cushion the event so it compeletely wiped me out. Completely. This includes up to 110k USD in credit card debts (and more, which I'm sure will come up in later chapters).

Drugs and Manipulation

A wise thought leader once said, "the Truth will prevail." As we start to go into this protracted American/global recession and deflation of our once almighty Dollar, that "Cliche" slogan  doesn't bring me comfort as the audience will see what one tragedy after another unfolds as I continue with this story of the dark side of America, a side that once you are too far down the path, will destroy you, and the prospects of any happiness in your life. 


It was about mid April 2007, that due to mounting panic and stress from increasing difficulty in getting a hold of Freddie (by phone, email or Skype), that a mutual Pharmacist friend started getting me samples of Xanax and Klonopin, to see if it would help so I can ask my doctor. Not able to get a hold of Freddie, I finally just text him that I'm at LAX, and that I'm on my way. He knew this wasn't a social visit, and made it very uncomfortable for me to come and simply visit him at his house. We ended up meeting at the Airport, and rented a hotel in Florida, not far from this "Jean Claude" character's office. 


It was about this time, that I was introduced to the anti-anxiety medications Xanax and Klonopin, by a mutual pharmacist friend who was worried about my 'investments' as he can see I was clearly distraught. What I didn't know, was what Hell had in store for me 3 years later...the physical and mental pains coming off it and cranial physical addictions to the Bezodiazepines in the most horrible way. 


What seemed a seemingly benevolent act of getting me some prescriptions that would help in my stress and panic: little did I know, over the next several months, I will go into an  increasing panic state, with bouts of Benzodiazapine withdrawal syndromes, putting me in a vulnerable state for making key life-altering decisions. My ego at the time didn't allow me to accept that this was a very serious situation. That this can be fixed. Freddie would fix it. Or so I naively thought...

Denial and Faith

From May on, 2006 was a period like I had never experienced before. Yes, I had a whirlwind of travel plans after the next, and the monthly returns did continue to flow, but as the months went on, things weren't happening with our deals as Freddie had promised.

It didn't bother me too much at the start. These were, investments, after all. There were certain risks involved. What may have been one of my earliest intuitions early on, was a nagging suspicion Freddie was not telling me the whole truth. Certain documents could not be produced, something seemingly simple, such as a copy of the wire transfer for the combined $1 million cash, (strangely) sent to the 'wife' of the guy (Jean Claude) who he was supposedly having this high level financial transaction with. 

The deal Freddie offered me in September 2006, was to pull our cash together (500k each) so we can get a 6 month loan facility (valued at $20 million) set up for us with monthly points plus LIBOR as our costs. I forgot to mention, there was also a 5% cash fee for the opportunity, which for a $20 million valued instrument, puts the retainer at $1 million dollars, cash. I must have been completely blinded to the huge profits Freddie would keep projecting with confidence, and how we would be getting Yachts together, large homes, sports cars. It seemed fair enough to me, that we would both split the cost of the instrument down the middle. I was very appreciative of all he had done to date. Freddie's conviction was: "Look, you can obviously trust me, I've known you for 9 years, and I've delivered on every promise to date." Which it turned out, at the time, was true. He was able to get me money wired to me, though I did have a thought that he would wire me from different sources every month, mostly online gold bullion financial services and sorts. I had nothing to complain about. 


I was basically, finally taking a long needed life break after 33 years of hard work, and I totally trusted the man. Of course, I was not financially business savvy enough, that everything he told me fascinated me, and in short, I was completely convinced he was one of the smarted and spiritually evolved persons on the plant.   

Spiritual Bliss

It was the night before my 90-day hand over period would be over for selling my web consulting business. It was May 4th, 2006. The very next morning, I shut off my email address for good, and with a friend, took a road trip that morning, from California to New Mexico, to experience my first true freedom and see the White Sand Dunes and Carlsbad Caverns.

My friend noted to me, "hey, it's Mexican Independence Day, Cinco de Mayo!" I remember while driving in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico, I stood up in my car and hollered at the top of my lungs, "I am Free!". I still remember how that first day felt. It was the experience of all perceived stresses, worries or personal responsibilities lifted from one's life all at once. No more nagging clients, (keeping me working till my last night), No politics and associate asses at some company I worked for, just completely financially independent, as in now I had enough saved, that it would be possible to carefully start living off its monthly and compounded returns were I clever and patient enough.

During that year, I ended up making my first two visits to Thailand, a country I have learned to love, and Japan my country of birth, as well as Hermosillo, Mexico, a beautiful Spanish Colonial city. Everywhere I was, I felt like I was on top of the world. That I would take a well deserved break now, for a few months, and I can still live the same lifestyle if I wished to return home.

During this period, I was possibly the healthiest I have ever been. At one point, 2006-2007, I would run 7.5 miles in 1 hour on the treadmill. Though I did have concerns as it was always hard to get a hold of my investor friend, I trusted my savvy friend, and continued to enjoy my free time. It was like a summer vacation for adults, like taking a whole year off in college, a federal witness protection program, or something akin to a whole new experience that brings a "tabla rasa", a complete reset of one's life.

My American dream was finally coming true after 3 decades, and was the happiest person in the world. If I just let my profits roll over each month, within a year, I would have enough to put a down payment for a retirement home for my parents in Orange County, and start a family of my own separate from them. At about this time, I started a daily ritual of prayers of gratitude for the blessings I seemingly received.

My investor friend, Freddie, then called me one fateful day in Sept with a sudden deal that was the real deal: "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". This alpha decision, relying only on personal trust without any business experience prior, would soon prove to be my Achilles heel for this hitherto materially possessed ego, a too trusting, gullible, unsuspecting fool.

The Beginning

It started as a picturesque, post-dotcom, web programming consulting business, working out of my living room desk in Orange County, CA. I had just finished a 3 year job stint at a local dotcom startup, and unexpectedly started picking up projects and jobs a month after I left the company. Four years later, I was able to sell my business, along with a 4 bedroom home purchased a year earlier, and was about to take a few months off life sabbatical. I couldn't wait to feel completely Responsibility-Free, and have all the time in the world to pursue whatever it was I felt passionate about.

It was February 2006, and a friend I knew from an online new-age metaphysics mailing list called Confederation of Light; someone that by that time, I had traveled with, attended events with, and gone soul searching with; by then, a person I considered a close friend of almost 10 years, offered to invest some of my new found savings, while I was on my time off. He promised me that I would have income from my savings each month and that he can get me 5% or more return every month consistently, using his high profit currency trading 'technology'.

I was completely taken in by his sophistication in his knowledge about the Federal Reserve and the Occult, how fiat money became legal tender in the bankrupt U.S.A. corporation, and so forth. My very first investment was wiring him $20,000 USD as a trial to see how he performs. Sure enough, the money I wired in Feb was by March, producing a $2000 profit from my principal! From there, it started to give me consistent income every month. I started putting more and more of my own and my family's life savings into his 'currency trading' investment.

I felt like I was on top of the world at age 33; I would be able to start living on investment money returns, and take some time to travel, fall in love, and if lucky, start a family. I felt my hard work and prayers were finally answered. Little did I know, so blinded by natural euphoria and total trust, what lurked around the corner for me for the next several years right out of Dante's hell....